Made choices
by Akin
Summary: Frodo finds out that choices are something we have to make, but they can hunt you later, even though they were the right ones. *finished*


_Warning: this story was NOT beat-read and I am NOT a native speaker. _

* * *

Frodo felt almost thankful for the prolonging shadows and darkness that crept in to the chamber, for so, he could only barely see Lord Elrond, who had been speaking.  


"The Ring must be destroyed. Someone must take it to the fiery chasm of Mount Doom from whence it once came. The road would be perilous, for Mordor is guarded by more than just Orcs and the great eye of Sauron is ever watchful. The very air you breath is a poisonous fume and the land is a barren wasteland without any possibility to hide." 

The few grim Lord's words made the whole council present in the chamber shiver. Yet Frodo felt that the terrible images that were created through the dark sentences in his mind were nothing in comparison to the real task ahead; task he had been foreseen to take and attempt to fulfill.   
"Is anyone prepared to undertake such a road?"  
The question was heavily laying upon them. 

No one was looking at him directly, but Frodo felt that all minds around were gingerly reaching out and softly pleading him to take it. More resolute ones were even probing whether his hobbit heart was strong and honest enough to take the whole future of the Middle-Earth in his personal responsibility.   
His heartbeat quickened and for a moment Frodo wished, that someone would take the Ring himself, releasing him from the impossible task of choosing the course of future. 

In the terrible moment of frozen silence, he heard only the thumbing of his heart in his ears and his throat had been painfully tightened. "I will take it.", a silent voice ended his torment. 

With wild eyes Frodo looked around, for he could not tell who the speaker was. His throat spasmed even more. No one could take this task, it was meant for him. He peered into the darkness fiercely, trying to see to whom were the heads of the council turning, but the faces of the surrounding members were cold, flat, stone-like, looking straight forward, still probing his heart with their mind - eyes. Did he imagine the voice? 

Probably, yet the possibility that someone might take the already - condemned task scared him. It was meant for him, no one else. Frodo fast opened his mouth, so no one could overtake him anymore.  
"I will take it! I will take the Ring to Mordor!", his voice was strong and determined, unlike the one from his imagination. Now the faces of the cold statues around him changed into living ones again. 

Lord Elrond turned towards him, speaking words of gratitude. Yet Frodo felt, as nice as they sounded, they were fake. For there was no one else who could take the task: he was meant to be the One from the start on, and everyone must have felt it too. 

Frodo's face blushed and from a strange reason he felt embarrassed, looking on the ground furiously.   
"So you want to do it?"  
Wizard's question felt like a freezing breeze blowing straight into his heathened face. Almost instantly the embarrassment disappeared, Frodo calmed down and looked at the tall Ishtari.   
"Yes. I want to do it."

When Gandalf frowned, Frodo cursed inwardly: his answer probably did not sound resolutely enough and Frodo literally felt wizard's cold-blue eyes boring under his skin, shaking the hard decision in its very grounds. He moaned inwardly. _  
'Please, do not do this to me. I had to give up so much of me for this decision. Do not make me waver in it!'_

However, Gandalf did not hear his silent pleas. He put a large hand on Frodo's shoulder and forced him down on a chair. They sat opposite each other, Gandalf's eyes were gazing into his. His very soul quirked under this stare and everything seemed to be nugatory. It did not matter anymore what would the others think of him if he refused to go. It was only him, and Gandalf. 

"It is a perilous road. They will hunt you down. They will try to kill you and take the Ring, mercilessly. You will have no peace, or sleep. Yet, you cannot fail, for if you do, the world of Middle Earth would be lost, forever. Are you still prepared to take this task?"

Frodo felt his heart crumple in his chest and his decision melting under Gandalf's compassionate, wise eyes. The words that wizard had said were not that strong as lord Elrond's, but somehow they got much bigger impact on his conscience. As if Gandalf's eyes were able to send the very images of the road, that had been expecting him if he accepted, into his mind; and he responded to them, with immense fear. How could he, so small and insignificant, even for a moment believe that he could succeed?

The idea of his foolish pride and bravery did not seem ridiculous to Frodo, only more scaring. He could still take his words back, could he not?   
_'Please allow me to take back what I had said. Break the word with which I sealed my vow to take the Ring!'_

The sentences that penetrated the fear-induced fog in his ears sounded like words of a long - forgotten, beautiful song.   
"You can still take your word back. It's your decision and no one can blame you, if you give up the task."  
A little confused, by the easy way out from the seal of fate, Frodo turned uncertain to Lord Elrond, who was smiling kindly, confirming Gandalf's words. 

Tears of gratefulness were pushing into his eyes and Frodo did not try to stop them. He felt the immense fear he experienced only moments ago disappear from his heart all at once, leaving him light and free. He wanted to thank them for releasing him from his vow, but the words were drowned in tears that were in great cascaded traveling down his cheeks and falling from his chin. He wanted to, but his throat was tightened and his nose full. So he was only choking in immense relief and struggling for breath.   
  
No one was blaming him! No one was blaming him!   
Yet his happiness felt wrong and the tears on his face, however real, felt fake. 

* * * 

Someone shook his shoulder. Frodo's eyes snapped open, watching confused at Sam, who was with leaning over him with expression of weary fright.  
"Mr. Frodo..."  
Frodo looked around, there were only rocks; so it was only a dream. He touched his right cheek, which was wet. The tears were real, but his relief was fake, for it was only a dream. He did not break his vow. They were in Mordor with the One Ring hanging on a chain and round his neck. The cold, long fingers of fear anew grabbed his throat in a choking grip. He did not break his vow! 

THE END

_author's note: This whole story is based on a dream I really had a longer time ago, yet I still remember it vividly. And I remember that I was crying from my sleep, so when I woke up, my pillow was wet.   
So yes, it is possible to live through such a strong emotions in your dream that you cry in sleep. _


End file.
